User talk:EtherBot
Greetings, My name's EtherBot probably, as far as you know. This is my talk page, most likely, as far as you're concerned. -- Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the User:EtherBot page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Sloshedtrain (talk) 10:49, September 24, 2014 (UTC) Story. Your story lacked content/story. There were some punctuation (The quotation marks are off and it makes it complicated who is speaking as if there was only one speaker, the whole thing would be encapsulated in quotation marks as opposed to the closing quotation marks and introduction of new ones.) and capitalization issues. Also the redundency of "You have to wonder..." and "Do we all just..." detracted from the overall quality of the story. While reiteration can strengthen a story at times, overuse of these phrases can weaken a story. Given the rather short nature of the story, the reoccurrence of these quotes and the general up-for-interpretation/introspective nature of the plot doesn't help much with the quality. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:51, September 28, 2014 (UTC) RE: The issue with having an unspecified speaker means that when you conclude a sentence/dialogue with quotation marks and then start up with a new set, that typically indicates an interrupting action or change in speaker which can be confusing. I would recommend getting help for this story from the writer's workshop as they are a little more creative and resourceful than me and can maybe help with a more fleshed out plot/theory. I can help if you want, but there are other users on the writer's workshop who can give much better feedback than me. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:37, September 29, 2014 (UTC) Story Help: Hey mate, if you want to help me with the concept of my story I'm okay with that, I updated it and fixed up the sentences like you said, here is the updated link: http://sta.sh/01v8b3pcqz3d if you wanna have a look. - Kadeox Story Help2: Hey mate, thanks for the feedback I really appreicate it. I just want to ask do you think my story is good enough to put on Creepypasta wiki and if not what is it missing? Helpful advice The more you post to the WW post, the less likely you are to receive help as most users look at the title and the number of messages. (The higher the number, the more likely they assume feedback is being given.) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:05, October 3, 2014 (UTC) Spam blogs You have recently created a blog that was considered spam because it was either: too short, unrelated to Creepypasta, or general spam (i.e. random letters and numbers with no meaning or purpose). In the future, contribute quality blog posts or else you will be given a ban as stated in . You will now be given an automatic three-day ban. "You know why he's here? Why he's investigating the broken rules? He's not paid or anything. He likes it. He gets off on it" (talk) 17:27, October 15, 2014 (UTC) Two Things First, I didn't delete your story. Second, the line you're looking at came from a story that had the same title that I deleted back in January. ImGonnaBeThatGuy (talk) 19:18, October 27, 2014 (UTC) :I deleted it. The story made no sense. Someone in a room, hearing a phrase over and over, things crashing on the roof, same phrase, the end. I tried to see what you were going for here, but am still drawing a blank. :Mystreve (talk) 22:21, October 27, 2014 (UTC) WW The Writer's workshop is for getting feedback on your story. (i.e. the post needs to actually have your story in it.) As it was recently deleted here is a copy do not reupload it without making a Deletion Appeal and making the necessary revisions. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 12:16, October 28, 2014 (UTC) My pleasure I'll be more than happy to review your story. I'll leave the review in the comments on the story itself. Should be done shortly. Best, --Banningk1979 (talk) 19:02, November 20, 2014 (UTC) Well, based on the imagery that you described in the poem, I envisioned a man being killed, as in the mention of a gun, and going to hell, when you described a demon. --Banningk1979 (talk) 06:28, November 21, 2014 (UTC) Review request Hey, If you get a chance, I was hoping that you could read my latest story, For Love and Hot Chocolate and give me some honest feedback. Best, --Banningk1979 (talk) 03:18, January 20, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 11:53, March 27, 2015 (UTC) The Green Man The story wasn't up to quality standards. Smaller issues first, numbers smaller than ten really should be written out as words, unless referring to time or monetary amounts. Wording issues: "The doctor, determined not to break his streak, set out immediately. And, driving through the viscous (vicious)..." Viscous means gelatinous/syrupy, I think vicious was the word you wanted. If you wanted to use viscous, then more explanation is needed. " continued on wards." (Onwards) "wards" implies a very different meaning. I would also avoid starting so many sentences with conjunctions as it gives the story a choppy/start-and-stop feel. Grammar: it's=it is, its=possession. "grabbed it's (its) arm", "go of It's (its) arm" Capitalization issues: "...car, The (the) Doctor..." It's fine to capitalize the title of doctor, but it needs to be consistent through-out the story. "Now, one day, the doctor...", "The doctor, shocked stood...", "The doctor, determined..." Additionally as you gave the doctor's name earlier (Nathan), you can break up the monotony of constantly referring to him as the doctor by changing it up with his name. Story issues: Capitalization is a bit off at times. "Help (Help) meee! H-Help (H-help) me please!" Capitalizing the first two letters really comes off as an odd choice. (it also seems intentional as it's done twice through-out the story. You build up the atmosphere nicely, but more needs to be done with the green man. A bit more description of the man's infirmities would really help out the conclusion where you reveal the doctor is trapped and about to succumb to the same sickness. The story needs some work, I would suggest taking it to the writer's workshop if you intend to make a deletion appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:30, March 29, 2015 (UTC) Re: The story has improved some since it was deleted. However there are still some changes that are needed. I would put thoughts in quotations, "I deserved (deserve) better than this!", "His voice was rough and disfigured" (disfigured is more of a visual term.). "With to (two) streaks of blood streaming" Also I might avoid the crying blood Cliche, "The door lead (led) down another set of stairs", "...one lead (led) into a small room", "Its (its) arm" (you already named him the green man, no need to give them the title of it.) I might also build up the suffering of the Green Man some to really drive home the horror of his infection. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:52, May 11, 2015 (UTC) As for reviewing "Error", I am currently visiting with family so I won't really have any time for about a week. If you're looking for quicker feedback I suggest messaging someone else. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 13:40, May 20, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 13:43, May 20, 2016 (UTC) Re: Blogs There are other places you can post it on the internet if you find it's interesting enough to share, but posting it in a blog is against our site rules and has been for over four years now. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:42, May 20, 2016 (UTC) :From the link I included above: "Blogs are not articles. Do not post entire stories in blogs." Feel free to look over the 8000 or so blogs (a number of which contain stories from the times that we didn't enforce this rule. We don't allow this as it prevents other users from correcting issues as they can't edit them, the spam filter really doesn't pertain to blogs so we'd have to police them to prevent blacklisted subjects, and categorizing blogs cause them to bleed over into the article listing. Really there's no reason to allow stories on blogs and doing so only really causes issues and extra work for no real benefit. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 00:04, May 21, 2016 (UTC) Permission to narrate "Hell Isn't Full of Monsters" Hi there! I would like to ask your permission to narrate Hell Isn't Full of Monsters. I didn't see CC-BY-SA at the bottom, so I wanted to check with you first. Thank you, --http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/User:Abysmii Abysmii http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Special:MyTalk talk https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfP958GA3Wm8llOIrT-1U6gCE_xxLLZ5Q My readings 19:30, August 15, 2016 (UTC) No worries I'll take a look at it asap and leave you some feedback. Best, K. Banning Kellum (talk) 08:28, September 19, 2016 (UTC) All done Just reviewed your poem. Details in the actual review, but I'll let you know here I loved it. As I pointed out on the story page, I am not really a fan of poetry, but yours was certainly the one to make me reevaluate my thinking on quality poetry within the horror genre. Outstanding job on that, K. Banning Kellum (talk) 09:32, September 19, 2016 (UTC) Hey there Went to your page since I've seen how active you are right now and saw that you take requests for reviews. If you get a chance, could you review my story Jenna? Thanks, JohnathanNash (talk) 04:48, November 10, 2016 (UTC) And done Nice story, I really enjoyed. I left you feedback on the page. Thanks for reaching out. K. Banning Kellum (talk) 05:15, November 23, 2016 (UTC) No problem Hey, I'll be happy to check out your story. I'll leave you some feedback soon! K. Banning Kellum (talk) 16:45, December 15, 2016 (UTC) Feedback Okay, left some feedback in the workshop for you. Much the same as before, great story, just need some grammar clean-up. Reach out if I can be of any further help, K. Banning Kellum (talk) 17:46, December 23, 2016 (UTC) ClericofMadness (talk) 14:25, December 24, 2016 (UTC) Re: I already commented on the blog but wanted to message you anyway. Thanks for taking the time to not only read my work but to also create such a well-made blog about it. I look forward to seeing who you choose next. Have a good one. Jay Ten (talk) 16:27, January 10, 2017 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 14:09, February 5, 2017 (UTC) Happy Birthday EtherBot EmpyrealInvective (talk) 13:20, March 12, 2017 (UTC) You've Been Showcased! You were selected for one of my random writer's showcases, you can read your own showcase here . Blog I just wanted to let you know that Azu and I haven't heard from Vroom in a while. He got a new job recently, so he may be busy with that. I just wanted to let you know so you didn't misinterpret the lack of response to the showcase as him being unappreciative or apathetic, or as him secretly being an evil wizard. Raidra (talk) 23:06, June 24, 2017 (UTC) :That makes sense. Cool. Maybe Vroom had to take some time to deal with a situation like this. Raidra (talk) 17:24, June 25, 2017 (UTC) Showcase Hey, man, I'd like to thank you immnesly for selecting me for the showcasing, and for putting such great work into it. Cheers, If you're depressed and want to die, I'm here to help... you die (talk) 22:32, September 22, 2017 (UTC) Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read the Deletion FAQ and our Style Guide for Writing for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read this guide and these blog posts for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. For additional help, submit your story to the Writer's Workshop for feedback. :Hey, I'm writing this because I feel your poem can stay on the wiki with a couple of adjustments. :First, it is this line: "In awkward pose, does disconcert," I feel like the 'does disconcert' part is a bit awkward. First it is the comma before that which breaks the flow and then 'does disconcert' sounds weird and is almost a tongue twister. I would like to see something other than 'does disconcert', and I feel the line will be fine. :Second, the "Its gaunt and ugly face does glare, At me, who stares in fear, beneath." part doesn't have a great flow either. The comma after 'glare' stops the sentence to a halt and then we have to jumpstart it at 'At me', which is jarring. Then, the commas on the 'At me' also break the flow a bit. I would do one of three things: a) remove the comma after 'glare' and see if that fixes the flow of the line beneath, or b) remove all the commas, or finally c) remove all the commas except the one before 'beneath', since it might be good. I prefer c), since it is mirrors the ending. :Finally, these lines: "The binding holding it had ceased, Unshackling the fetid beast". You have to much '-ing' in there and it sounds a bit off. The main issue is in the double '-ing' on the first line. I think this is a great chance to amp up the creepiness by describing the binding more. You could follow this format: "Its ADJECTIVE binding had ceased". Preferably the adjective should have two syllables. :Overall, I liked this, especially since it was actually creepy at the end, something very, very rare for poems. I hope you iron out the little kinks so that it can be posted on the wiki. :By the way, you can use the tag to keep the right formatting without having to put a newline between your poem lines. MrDupin (talk) 12:28, November 18, 2017 (UTC) ::About the "at me/awkward commas" thing. Even though you went with pausing between the 4th and 5th line in every verse, pausing between the two particular lines is awkward and stops the flow, at least for me. Because, yes, you have an overarching structure, but you cannot force the reader to read in that structure. You must help the reader follow the structure. To do that, you need to have lines/writing that suits the structure, not the other way around. A good analogy for this is building stairs. You have built a pattern of steps that the reader walks on. Suddenly, the reader encounters a moldy, broken step. Even though according to the pattern he should step on it, hardly anyone will because nobody wants to step on a broken step. That particular pause is the broken step. ::About the "binding needing three-syllables vs. two-syllables", I think it can go either way. I suggested two-syllables to fit the number of syllables with the line below (the continuation of the sentence). I might have counted wrong, though. ::The thing is, poetry is extremely difficult to pull off, and creeping the reader out with one is even harder. The ones you mentioned are all experts in the field and are in no way representative of the general quality of horror in poems (especially in the amateur community). ::You can of course write as you wish, without going back to edit your work, but understand that writing something good this way takes exceptional talent and practice. I am no expert in poems, but I believe you first need to master the craft of writing sound poems before you go in "improvising". Hope this helps. MrDupin (talk) 21:08, November 18, 2017 (UTC) Reply to "The Showcase" Message I think Too Many Eyes and Where Did These Come From would be great stories to showcase. If this showcase is specifically for horror stories or just creepy stories in general, two of the stories I'd like to showcase besides the other two I already mentioned would be Slater Park Zoo and The White Wolf of Rhode Island and I Don’t Like What I See. I worked on The Girl Who Cried Platypus Bunny and Whatnot all the way back in 2014. From what I remember, I think I got the inspiration for the story from a Nostalgia Critic video that mentioned a creature called a Platypus Bunny. Link me to the showcase when it's up online somewhere. [[User:TheAzumangaDaiohFan|'Heeere's Hailey!']] [[User talk:TheAzumangaDaiohFan| Wanna Talk?]] 01:25, January 24, 2018 (UTC) A question about the story Hey, author of Scared To Sleep here, can you specifically explain what was wrong with the story? (Call me by Loki Welch, k? Saying Stalin is probably weird. ThatStalinLeader (talk) 17:49, February 3, 2018 (UTC) (ThatStalinLeader) Loki Welch Picture Honestly I'm not too sure either. I decided after reading your message though to change it out since I can't properly credit the artist. Kudos on keeping me honest lol! K. Banning Kellum (talk) 05:41, February 25, 2018 (UTC) This you on Reddit? Hi, I'm the new account of ThatStalinLeader (we've talked before) and I just have one small question. Is this you on Reddit? BlueLifeOpposing (talk) 11:36, September 25, 2018 (UTC) Maybe You Like? Hey EtherBot, I just read Little Things. It's the second post by a user that showed up on the site earlier this month. You might enjoy it. I'm curious to see what else they come up with in the future and maybe you will be too. Kolpik (talk) 06:55, February 17, 2020 (UTC) :Yeah, man. If the author pops out a few more gems like the one I linked above and you feel inspired, then heck yeah, showcase it up. But whatever the future brings, I thought you would enjoy the story. :Kolpik (talk) 20:14, February 17, 2020 (UTC) Hello, EtherBot! I'm sorry that I went away. I kind of stopped writing for no reason, so I wrote a story about my dying to try and get back into it. Thank you for sending me the message. It made me feel better. I sent you a friend request now, but this is actually around the time I usually go to sleep. I hope you have a great day and other great things. Squidmanescape (talk) 08:54, February 17, 2020 (UTC) My Death I wrote Fake Story, where I pretended I had died. I'm not sure it's very well-written or necessarily very good. But it's here now. Squidmanescape (talk) 20:31, February 17, 2020 (UTC) Hey! I've been well, thanks! It's good to see you back! Thanks for checking in. :-D Raidra (talk) 23:54, February 17, 2020 (UTC)